This is one of Barry's best! 'Dave Barry's only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need':
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Security personnel are on the lookout for people who fit the Profile of Suspected Terrorists, which is as follows:
Profile of Suspected Terrorists
Sex: Male
Age: 15 through 74
Looks Suspicious?: Yes
As a smart traveller who wishes to avoid the inconvenience of being taken into a small airless interrogation room and having electrical wiring attached to your various genitals, you should make every effort to avoid fitting this profile. This mean that if you are, for example, a male, you should try to deflect the security personnel's attention away from this fact via such techniques as:
Page 42.
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Security personnel are on the lookout for people who fit the Profile of Suspected Terrorists, which is as follows:
Profile of Suspected Terrorists
Sex: Male
Age: 15 through 74
Looks Suspicious?: Yes
As a smart traveller who wishes to avoid the inconvenience of being taken into a small airless interrogation room and having electrical wiring attached to your various genitals, you should make every effort to avoid fitting this profile. This mean that if you are, for example, a male, you should try to deflect the security personnel's attention away from this fact via such techniques as:
- Wearing a dress.
- Periodically remarking out loud to nobody in particular: "I certainly have a lot of body hair, for a woman!"
Page 42.
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